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Monday, February 19, 2018

Guest Post with Sharon Shaw

Hi Everyone!

Excited to be here to bring you a guest post from Sharon Shaw. Please help me by giving her a warm welcome!

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Would like a post on some insights on what finally prompted you to write the book?

After I stayed with what my gut knowing/intuition was telling me that my ex-partner was cheating and I eventually found evidence that proved my intuition was right, I felt empowered. I decided that I would always listen to my intuition even if people around me were telling me something different, I would always seek internally to listen, to understand and move to find evidence to show that my knowing/intuition is correct. I was always aware I had this knowing/intuition but I didn’t believe in it even though many times it had been right in what it would tell me. As a child no one around me talked about intuition or a sense that I might get in my stomach so I just thought I was weird and people would say I was too deep, when I was a child would voice what my intuition was telling me.

At this time I was dealing with a lot emotionally and mentally with our break up and wanting to ensure that our children were safe and had time to understand changes that would be happening within our family. I kept sitting listening to my intuition that guided me in what to do, my intuition was telling me that I needed time to understand and heal from this betrayal and that it was important that my ex stayed with us within our family home so we all had time to understand what changes would be happening, no matter what other people would say to stay with myself. Other people thought it was weird that I would allow him to stay but I found it was so healing, in going back to him to ask questions so that I had more understanding. I had acknowledged from reflecting on my past in having personal understanding, I heal and let go.

I also acknowledged at this point in time that I had emotionally healed from past trauma as I was at this time only dealing with this betrayal, my past painful life experiences were not coming back up. This experience shocked part of me as my past experiences would always come back up before. Whenever I experienced betrayal in the past, it was so painful and I now understand that within that pain was also pain from childhood abuse in so many ways. I acknowledged that because I had the opportunity in University to complete lots of personal development building my self-awareness and experienced personal counselling. These processes gave me safe connections and the opportunity to tell my story, to show my pain to people that could just accept me, this process helped me to see me and develop self-love and understanding my own truth to past trauma. Through me seeing me, and my dysfunctional development, I can now see why possibly others might project out and hurt others in so many ways.

I wanted to go deeper to understand my development emotionally, mentally and my healing. My intuition told me I should write books that this will help me to see my development and give deeper insight and give hope to so many people. Obviously I had so many fears I started to write them down and understand where these fears interlinked into my past experiences, I used safe connections my counsellor, mum, and friends to communicate on anything I felt stuck on. This process was hard and frightening to start with but so insightful, that would empower me more to keep doing the process. I started to get light bulb moments in understanding my development and mental defences that created fear, that I now acknowledge I had built or taken from others as a child in order to try to keep myself safe, but these defences had become dysfunctional as an adult as they closed me down and made me fearful as an adult to live my life free to be honest and open and to explore. I now don’t have the same fears and other people’s thinking doesn’t affect me the same, therefore I am free to share all of me within my books, in a hope that people will take whatever they need from my story and inspire them to look back to their own childhood and understand their own life story, emotions, thoughts and build on their own intuition. My wish as a child and still now is for people to heal, from pain and fear in understanding themselves, I believe that this process will break many cycles of perpetration at different levels, but believe that people need to experience and see it for themselves by finding a safe person or people and doing their own internal work. My intuition tells me that all I can do is share, openly and honestly, so that is what I am doing, sharing myself with love for everyone.

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A Child Inside: understanding, healing and freedom following childhood abuse and trauma
Sharon Shaw is a respected psychotherapist specialising in cases of childhood sexual, emotional and mental abuse. Few of Shaw’s clients would know that her brilliance as a therapist comes from profound personal experience. Her early life has inspired and informed her therapeutic techniques, now shared in this remarkable book, A Child Inside: understanding, healing and freedom following childhood abuse and trauma. Now an adult woman with the language and training to explain and analyse her experiences of abuse, Shaw revisits herself as that damaged child, with the support of her personal counsellor, her mother and other important safe connections. She reveals a frightened child, lost in a world that was not safe for her, trapped in a body and with a developing brain that wasn’t yet mature enough to understand and articulate the horrors she was experiencing, thinking and feeling, all of which conflicted with what she had been taught by family and society at large: she knew they were meant to protect her but why had they failed to do so? A Child Inside explores the complex issues of trust and responsibility between adults and children, charting the progression from acute distress through cognitive and intuitive understanding and ultimately towards forgiveness.




About the author: Living in Doncaster, South Yorkshire, Sharon Shaw B.Sc. spent five years training as a psychotherapist at Leeds Beckett University and now has over 600 hours of clinical experience in therapeutic interventions specialising in play therapy including a year at a local primary school and working with private clients.


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